I’ve been considering just ghosting on this blog for a few reasons.
Things have changed, I have changed. It almost seems as if it happened overnight. But truly it started around right after I last posted on this blog.
I was perfectly happy just to do what I do, which is work and frolic around Southern California. Then, I finally sunk my teeth into what has now engulfed my entire being. I decided to go back to school. Or rather, it decided for me.
It’s been an interesting year to have a Disneyland Annual Pass without block-out dates and no friends to go with. It hasn’t been terrible, just thought provoking. It got me through some very dark days of self doubt and feeling like going forward with applying to school was going to fail for sure. I kept telling myself it was time to just live in the now and enjoy it for what it was.
Disneyland became the place where I went to sulk in my non-scholarship worthy LSAT score and just to lament that this new dream could change my world (good or bad). Then, it mostly just got boring and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Life got too deep to run around and be carefree.
Disneyland has always been therapeutic for me whether I was with people or not. So it made sense to just keep getting the pass. It’s been my thinking place. I had spent many-a-day just going in to get a fancy meal at the Tratoria or going to Carsland just to sit and wait for the lights and music to go on when the sun set.
Then, Law school ended up working out. I’m knee deep in it and it just sucked me in whole. My pass expired. I didn’t have time to go in the past three or four months of being in school. If I did, it was very quick. I realized that Disneyland isn’t a place where you can get in and get out too easily. That alone takes an hour total. Getting into the parking lot, walking out, waiting for a tram, then through security and waiting in line…AND BACK AGAIN. I would have to have at least two and a half hours to spare to be able to do anything. Also, not too much changes with it.
The 60th Anniversary stuff was fun and different, but it wasn’t life changing. I suppose that sums it all up. Maybe Disneyland was my way of being in a rut and needing a distraction.
Disneyland was Walt Disney’s dream and aspiration, but it wasn’t (and would never be) mine. Plus, I’m 30 so I’m supposed to know what I want and how to get it at this point.
My professors keep saying “we’re supposed to tell you not to change and to be caring, optimistic people all the way through.” Key words, “supposed to tell you.”
But let me tell you. Law School is NO JOKE. You think you know, but you have no idea. I don’t sleep much, I hardly have time to eat regular meals, I’m always a bit grumpy/moody and knowing that you are smart is such a blessing and curse.
On top of all of that, the very essence of knowing what the law is, how it works and the law community consists of changes your perspective of life. It’s done that in a way that going to the Philippines did. It’s such a crazy thing to follow God wherever he takes you. I still can’t believe I’m doing this and I know a lot of people weren’t all about it when I first mentioned that this is what I was going to do next.
But such is life and so on and so on. I’m not going to change this blog into some personal thing where I talk about being a Law student because that would be boring and it would sound so pretentious. I’m going to try to keep it light and just share my tiny adventures. I’ve got one last final Monday and then two weekends to do something other than school. I’m planning to check out Universal Hollywood (Wizarding World of Harry Potter). So that might show up here.
I’ve been trying some fun new skin care products. I’m all about local businesses. I’ve been experimenting with subscription entertainment (music, tv, ect) services. PLUS, my job takes me all over Riverside County. So I’ve been meeting all kinds of new people and trying all kinds of mom and pop food places.
Here’s to hoping I still have the time, energy and passion to keep writing. Here’s to hoping my readers will keep reading.